I have set out about 5 years ago to start this movement called the Student Serenity Project, so that students would be supported by teachers, parents and themselves to have a way to feel good. Then I realized as time passed that they need to be ‘allowed’ to feel good in many cases.
Let me explain…
When children come in to this world, they are wild, free, decisive, lovable, curious, courageous, loving, attracting, intentional people. As time goes on, we start to shape their destiny and their thinking based on what we think they should do or say or feel in any given moment.
Don Miguel Ruiz in his book, The Four Agreements, calls this the process of domestication. He goes on to say that we start to work away at our children to become more like us. This can be a devastating discovery for our children…
So, what should we do about this and what does this mean for my child and his/her upbringing? I have contemplated this idea of domestication for many years since having heard this described by Don Miguel Ruiz…
Through the process of domestication, children receive a belief system from their parents. This belief system is similar to a book of law, as Don Miguel Ruiz puts it. He says that children become so used to being punished for not listening or following our beliefs, and when they do follow our beliefs they are rewarded. We are training our children to think, act and speak like us. Our teachers and any person of influence is also trying to influence our children in a way that they can respond in a positive way in the environment they are put in.
Our children are now acting, speaking and thinking according to someone’s belief system other than the one they were born with.
Let me explain…
All students are born with inner guiding systems (emotions), which are higher level and lower level and natures (energy types) which can be described as fun loving, sensitive, determined and serious. All children will fit in to these 4 types, as described in great detail by Carol Tuttle in her book, The Child Whisperer.
When my determined child, Maya, is in a setting in which she is expected to speak at a certain level or sit for extended periods of time, she will often be asked to do something that is foreign to her, such as be quiet or sit down, stop walking around, etc. You get the point. The difficulty with this situation is, there is often a consequence associated with Maya “not listening” to the instructions or not adapting to the environment. This is just a little example to bring some clarity to the types and what that means in the process of domestication and our children.
As Maya goes through life, we will start to adapt to situations, as a fear of punishment or as we sometimes like to call it, discipline is imminent. But often times, she would rather continue to do her own thing regardless of what everyone else around her wants her to do.
This can be tricky in situations like a classroom of 20 students or in the lineup at the grocery store. On the other hand, when she “listens to what we want her to do” she will get rewarded, with comments like “good girl” which indicates that when she doesn’t “listen” that she is a “bad girl”. What message is this sending if this is the way we are raising our children? There has to be a better way, and I would like to introduce you to the SSP, in which we will discuss alternate ways to raise our children, and possibly domesticate them, while still honoring their inner nature and guiding system.
You may have a similar situation with your own children, perhaps, a sensitive child in which their emotional needs are not being met and they react with isolation and anger.
The purpose to this project is to solely look at how we can allow our children to feel good, each and every day.
We can do this, there are many resources on this topic, and my purpose is to gather information and knowledge from experts and authors and use my own experiences to bring you real life changing strategies so you can reconnect and stay the positive role model you were meant to be for your children in a loving, courageous, personal development kind of way.
Our kids need us to think differently when it comes to raising them. They are yearning to do well and to feel good, so let’s step up, rise up, and change together so that our kids can have the life they were meant to have when they were born with their true natures.
I will be touching on these ideas and many strategies that will fill your child with love so they are overflowing with higher, faster energy. They have this already, but need to be guided through the developing years so they can become the self-reliant people that they were meant to be.
This is my burning desire, to educate, support, mentor, coach and walk with you on this journey.
The Student Serenity Project